


St Jimmy, and who he really was

by Queertist



Category: American Idiot - Green Day/Armstrong
Genre: Drug Use, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jimmy is a real person, M/M, Trans Characters, autistic characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29311074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queertist/pseuds/Queertist
Summary: When Johnny had lifted the medium sized box into the living room (slash bedroom slash kitchen) he saw the big jagged letters that were written on it with a red glitter pen in the same chicken scratch handwriting he knew so well.PROPERTY OF JIMMY, FUCK OFFOn the side of the box was written with the same pen and handwriting,TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, THIS IS MY LIFE1997-2018And that was the first thing in a long list that Johnny learned about the saint after his untimely death, Jimmy was 21 years old when it happened.
Relationships: Johnny/Whatsername, Johnny/Will (American Idiot), St. Jimmy/Johnny
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. The box

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of a fic I started sometime last year, i don’t really know what it is?? But enjoy i guess.

One week after st Jimmy shot himself Johnny found a box, he was clearing out the closet he’d shared with the saint and desperately trying to make out which ratty unwashed t-shirts were his and which had belonged to the late Jimmy. As he was thinking of what he’d do with the stuff once he’d finally managed to clear out everything that had belonged to Jimmy, maybe burn it?, he tripped over some loose floorboards.  
“Fuck” he mumbled, because he’d thought he’d found all of the saints secret drug stashes. Johnny leaned down and moved the floorboards, silently cursing himself for thinking that the saint wouldn’t have more than two secret storages.  
He was expecting to find drugs, secretly hoping he’d find money (even though he knew very well that Jimmy was just as broke as him at the time of his death). He wasn’t expecting a moving box. 

When Johnny had lifted the medium sized box into the living room (slash bedroom slash kitchen) he saw the big jagged letters that were written on it with a red glitter pen in the same chicken scratch handwriting he knew so well.

PROPERTY OF JIMMY, FUCK OFF

On the side of the box was written with the same pen and handwriting, 

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, THIS IS MY LIFE  
1997-2018

And that was the first thing in a long list that Johnny learned about the saint after his untimely death, Jimmy was 21 years old when it happened. 

Once again Johnny had no idea what to expect when he opened the box that had once belonged to his late friend (?), but it sure ass hell wasn’t what he found. 

The box contained, as detailed to Will in a text message two months later:

1\. Thirty five notebooks all without a single page left blank, Jimmy’s journals from age 8 to 21.  
2\. Four photo albums, “my lost childhood” “Fucking High school” “St. Jimmy” and one simply titled “Johnny boy”  
3\. A pair of really old black doc martens with purple shoelaces, Jimmy’s first apparently.  
4\. A tear stained document from what looked like a school that had the name Jimmy frantically circled in with red pen.  
5\. About two hundred guitar picks in a mason jar.  
6\. A postcard from what must have been Jimmys dad, both the name of his dad and the entire contents of the postcard had been whited out. Jimmy having replaced his dads name with Edgar Allan Poe.  
7\. Two different love letters addressed only to, “You”.


	2. The notebooks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two babeyyy! I am having some trouble figuring out how to split up this fic, but I’m getting there. In the meantime, enjoy!

The journals were written between 2005 and 2018 and would have been very confusing to anyone who didn’t know Jimmy personally, they were filled with drawings, scatterbrained journal entries, song lyrics, postcards, Polaroid photos and random junk that he’d taped to the pages. Very erratic and very Jimmy.   
Jimmys journals were devoid of any details that could reveal anything more about him that he chose to reveal himself, and so it shocked Johnny quite a bit when he found what looked like a phone number scribbled down hastily at the bottom of a receipt Jimmy had taped in one of his later journals. “Mary’s new phone number” it read underneath it. 

The second thing Johnny learned about Jimmy was that he had a sister.   
Mary was Jimmys identical twin sister, and it seemed that up until they both turned 15 they were inseparable. Jimmy continued to speak highly of her throughout all his journals, although she was mentioned less and less after 2014. 

The hasty scribble was dated November 29th 2017, one year and two weeks before Johnny found the note.   
There was a big possibility that this was still Mary’s number.

“You gonna call her?” Will asked that same night before they fell asleep.  
“I don’t know.” Johnny buried his face into Wills chest and sighed. “I don’t know if I would be able to”  
“Why not?”   
“Well, it’s just. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to someone who was that close to him after what he did to me and well, to himself.”  
“Do you think she knows?”  
“That he’s dead? No. If she did I think she would’ve gone to the funeral.”  
“You don’t have to do it alone you know?” Will carefully ran his hands through Johnnys hair “I’ll be there every step of the way if you want me to”  
“I’ll think about it”   
And so two days and three pep talks from Will later Johnny did probably the most daring thing he’d done since his arrival back in Jingletown, and called the number.


	3. Mary

“Hello?”  
Johnny took a deep breath and looked at Will who nodded and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.  
“Hi, are you Mary?”  
The woman on the other end went quiet for a second before answering.  
“That is my name yes but are you looking for a specific Mary?”  
“Did- do you have a twin brother named Jimmy?”  
She went quiet again, but this time it seemed to be from shock.  
“I- yes I do actually, uh who are you?”  
“Uh my name is Johnny and I-”  
“Wait, Wait wait, Johnny? Like That Johnny? Johnny boy?”  
“I- yeah that’s uh, that’s me“ Johnny could feel himself choking up, fuck this was hard “listen we need to talk. About your brother.”  
She cursed loudly at the other end.  
“Hey kiddo I’m so sorry if he dumped you or whatever but I can’t-“  
“Mary your brother’s dead.”  
Pause.  
“Oh”

Maybe it was shock, maybe she didn’t care much for Jimmy, but after that it was surprisingly easy for Johnny to set up a time for him and Will to meet her at a cafe in Jingletown the following week. 

When Johnny saw her sitting at the cafe he wanted to turn and run, because the woman sitting at the small table in the corner looked so much like Jimmy that he for a split second actually thought it was him. And then all of a sudden it was June again and he was pressed up against a wall and Jimmys sharp teeth were leaving marks all over his neck, his nails digging into Johnnys hips. And then it was July and Jimmy woke him up by putting out his cigarette on his stomach, and then had the gall to get mad at Johnny for shouting in pain. And then it was august and she (whatever her name was) had left and Jimmy was worse and then it was October and-

Wills strong and safe arms was around him, and he was safe and he was here.  
“Hey, you gonna be okay?” Will asked him softly.  
“Yeah I” Johnny took a deep breath, grounding himself “she looks a lot like him”  
“We can leave anytime you like okay?”  
“Okay, thank you.” Johnny took another deep breath “Let’s go” 

“Hi, you must be Johnny right?”  
Mary looked up from her phone at Johnny and Will when they walked up to the table.  
“Uh yeah, hi.” He and Will sat down across from her and Will reached across the table to shake her hand.  
“Hi I’m Will”  
Johnny gestured vaguely towards Will.  
“He’s my boyfriend, I hope it’s cool if he’s here too?  
“Yes of course!” Mary smiled “nice to meet you both”  
There was an awkward 30 seconds of silence before Mary cleared her throat and spoke again.  
“So, Johnny, Jimmy talked about you a lot. But I want to hear it from you, how did you know my brother?”  
Johnny shifted a bit in his seat, he still wasn’t completely comfortable talking to anyone but Will about his time with the Saint- with Jimmy. But this was Jimmys sister and she deserved to know what happened.  
“I was Jimmys uh, I guess roommate for about a year”  
Mary raised her eyebrows.  
“Roommate? Were you really his roommate or one of his little cult members?”  
“I- mean sorta. But it wasn’t really- I mean we- he was-“  
Mary laughed, and the way she covered her mouth with her hand when she did it sent shivers down Johnnys spine. Because that’s exactly how Jimmy used to laugh.  
“Hey, it’s okay. I won’t judge, I’ve met plenty of his ex-“followers”. I know what he was like.”  
“No I mean I- I was one of his disciples in the beginning but, I really was his actual roommate. We met at a bar one night in like march of last year or something, and god- I- I think he saved my life”  
Mary looked at him, concern evident in her eyes.  
“Saved your life huh? Look kid I know it can be hard being told your so called god was a piece of shit but”  
“No I mean it, he saved my life. When we met I- I was a fucking mess, to put it lightly, and if I hadn’t met him? God I think I might’ve offed myself”


	4. Johnny, meet Jimmy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Tunny a girl (bc I felt like it, also gay) so when Johnny talks about how “she joined the red white and blues” that’s Tunny!

It was March 15th, the day Tunny left for the fucking army. The day Johnnys life went south.  
He’d been drinking since around seven and now at two in the morning he was laying down on the road freezing his ass off, but he’d rather die of hypothermia or get hit by a car than go back to the apartment alone. Johnny couldn’t tell if he was crying or if it was the rain but it was probably both, and god he was pathetic.  
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Said a voice coming from somewhere behind him.  
“Why does it matter?”  
“Cause you’re in the way, and you could get run over”  
Johnny sat up and looked at the man standing behind him, he was tall (with the boots, but Johnny was drunk so he didn’t notice), lanky and pale and he was staring down at Johnny through a pair of pitch black sunglasses. Under his left arm was a motorcycle helmet and behind him stood what must have been his motorcycle.  
“Move” the man said and Johnny could tell that he wasn’t from the city, he looked and talked like he’d lived here his entire life, but the accent was all wrong, barely even sounded American but Johnny couldn’t seem to place it.   
“No” Johnny fell back on the ground again. “Move me yourself”  
“Alright then” Said the stranger and picked Johnny up like he was nothing and sat him down on the sidewalk. “There we go, now go home and sleep off your hangover before you freeze to death.”  
Johnny laughed, and the strangers expression darkened.  
“What’s so fucking funny?”  
His blunt reaction made Johnny laugh even more but soon he just started crying again.  
“where the fuck am I supposed to go back to?”  
The man sat down next to him and looked him up and down.  
“You don’t look homeless”  
“I’m not I just- I can’t go back to that fucking apartment again”  
“Did your parents kick you out?”  
“No my fucking best friend left and joined the red white and blues and she’s probably going to fucking die and I promise you I’m going to fucking kill myself if she does”  
“Hey calm down, what’s your name kid?”  
“Johnny.”  
“Hello Johnny, I’m Jimmy, but people call me the saint”  
Johnny scoffed, and looked up at him.  
“Saint Huh? Well my friends at home call me Jesus, cause I’m the Jesus of suburbia. What did you do to earn your sainthood?”  
Jimmy went quiet, and when he finally answered he looked confused.  
“I don’t think I understand?”  
“Why did god decide that you were worthy of being a saint?”  
“God didn’t- What?”  
And that’s when Johnny got it.  
“Oh shit you’re like Will. Forget about the last shit I said, that was a joke.” Johnny fell backwards on the sidewalk and spread his arms out “what did you say your name was again?”  
“People call me Saint Jimmy.”  
“Alright Jimmy, why do people call you Saint? What did you do to deserve it?”  
Jimmy went quiet again.  
“I don’t know actually, I guess one day people just started calling me that. I’m sort of the patron saint of the underbelly of this city, you need any help you come to me y’know.”  
“Cool”  
“Johnny I really think you should get home.”  
“I told you I can’t stand to be in that fucking apartment all by myself”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I’ll kill myself or something”  
Jimmy sighed, stood up and walked over to his motorcycle.  
“What the fuck? Are you really just gonna leave me here?”  
“No, shut up I’m looking for a thing.”  
“Jesus Christ of course you’re leaving, why would anyone ever stay with-“  
He was cut off by something hard hitting him in the stomach, causing him to loose his breath. It was a helmet.  
“Put it on, you’re staying with me tonight” Jimmy was standing by his motorcycle looking at Johnny on the ground.  
“Wait what?”  
“Come on put it on”  
“Wait you’re just going to let some depressed 18 year old off the street sleep in your apartment?”  
“I’m not going to let you sleep on the street, put on the helmet Johnny.”  
And so he did, and the Saint let him sit behind him on the motorcycle as they travelled through the city to the apartment.


	5. A memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess trigger warning for abusive/manipulative relationships? Jimmy is a piece of shit, but what else is new.

Mary laughed a little  
“Sounds like Jimmy”  
“Yeah...” Johnny shifted a little in his seat “in the beginning he was sorta nice actually, maybe a little harsh sometimes but he never intentionally hurt me”  
Will elbowed Johnny in the side and Johnny got the hint as he looked up at his boyfriend.  
“Apart from the y’know drugs and shit”

Mary let out an uncertain laugh that quickly evolved into sobs as she started crying.  
“God what happened to him?” She sobbed “he used to be so nice!” She looked at Johnny “we were best friends, him and me, until he turned 16 and became a massive dick that is.”  
“I’m, sorry... he wasn’t all bad” Johnny smiled at her “he could actually be quite caring at times”  
Mary let out a teary laugh and took Johnnys hand in hers,  
“Johnny, love, you don’t have to act like he was a nice person just because I’m his sister. I if anyone know he was an abusive piece of shit”  
“Yeah I-“ what do you say to the twin sister of your former roommate/boyfriend(?)/drug dealer? “You said he mentioned me?”  
Mary made a face, and once again Johnny got chills, Jimmy used to make that face. “Yeah, a lot actually. Did you, uh, did you know?”  
“Know what?”  
“That he was y’know, in love with you”  
And there it was, the thing he’d been dreading talking about since he left the city. Of course he knew, Jimmy didn’t exactly try to hide it. 

“I love you Jesus, do you know that?” They were laying on that ratty mattress again, dazed, smoke thick in the air, passing a joint between them. Johnny had his head on Jimmy’s chest, and Jimmy was carding his free hand through Johnnys hair. “I love you so fucking much, I need you to know that. So I know you won’t leave me.”  
Johnny took a drag from the joint, and blew smoke into the air, they were going to have to open the windows later.  
“I could never leave you saint, I need you” he gestured vaguely with the joint “need this, y’know?”  
Jimmy nodded, and took the joint.  
“I know, and that’s good. Because you can’t leave me, okay?”  
“Mm sure”  
“Johnny.”  
“Yeah?”  
“I need you to promise you won’t leave, can you do that for me?”  
“Of course I won’t leave”  
Jimmy stopped Johnnys hand as it came to take the joint again.  
“Promise. Promise you won’t leave me Johny boy”  
“I promise Jimmy.”  
Jimmy smiled, and let Johnny have the joint again.  
“Good, then I won’t leave you either”

“Yeah, yeah I knew”  
Will put his arm around Johnnys shoulders, grounding him.  
“I thought so” Mary sighed “he talked about you a lot, the few times he decided to contact me, his Johnny boy, I figured he’d have told you.”  
Johnny really didn’t want to talk about this, especially not with Jimmy’s SISTER. So he changed the subject.  
“Uh, I have some stuff that belonged to Jimmy at our place. Do you want to come look at it? See if there’s anything you want to take with you?” He really didn’t want to look at the box more than necessary, but if Mary wanted to keep something he’d let her. “I don’t really know what to do with it otherwise” except throw it in an incinerator, but he wouldn’t tell that to Mary.  
“Oh that’d be lovely actually” Mary smiled at him, and that was the big thing that differentiated her from her brother, Jimmy’s smile was all sharpened teeth, cold and mean, it was big and sharp and never meant what you thought it meant. Mary’s was soft and kind, there were no hard edges or smudged black lipstick. But best of all, it was a real smile. “If you don’t mind me coming into your home that is.”  
She looked at Will now, and he shook his head.  
“No I don’t mind at all, I don’t have my son this week so we’re completely free.”  
Mary squeezed Johnnys hand.  
“Thank you, both of you, really. You don’t know how much this means to me”


	6. The notebooks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back babey  
> Took a little longer to make this chapter bc I kept rewriting it.

Mary didn’t want to look at the notebooks yet, so she decided to look at the photo albums.  
“Oh my nana took this one!” She said and pointed at a photo of a young Jimmy and Mary sitting on a swing ”She was always so nice to us, especially to Jimmy. God she loved that boy”  
Mary looked fondly through the photo albums from Jimmy’s childhood.  
“Oh look! That’s him right there” she pointed to a black and white picture from what looked like a small concert “playing with his band, when they first started out”  
Johnny looked at the picture, and the boy he saw playing with the band was nothing like the man he’d known. They looked the same, sure, but they were two completely different people.  
“He looked so, happy. Like genuinely happy.” Johnny looked up at Mary “what happened to him?”  
She sighed and drew her fingers over the photograph.  
“I don’t know really, he hung around the wrong crowd I guess. It started out small, with pills, and then it just escalated.” She closed the album “and then all of a sudden, he was gone. Moved to a completely different city. Changed his name, not that I had a problem with that part, and became... well, the saint”  
“What was he like? As a child, I mean”  
“He was a little shit, but nice” she smiled fondly “it wasn’t always easy y’know, especially not for him. With the whole” she gestured vaguely “trans thing. Mom and dad weren’t exactly ecstatic about it.”  
Johnny laughed “yeah I gathered, he didn’t talk a lot about his family but when he did it was never good” he flopped back on the floor and put on an exaggerated version of Jimmy’s accent, 

“Oh you want to know about my fucking parents?” Jimmy laughed and looked at Johnny who was laying on his back next to him on the ratty mattress in their apartment “they sucked. Hated me, for no other reason than being unapologetically myself”  
He flipped over to his side and reached over and put his hand under Johnnys chin tilting it upwards “we’re a bit similar in that way.” He smiled at Johnny, Jimmy’s smile was always threatening, like a predator bearing his teeth “But don’t get me wrong Jesus, I don’t have daddy issues, those are your problems not mine”  
“I don’t have daddy issues either” Johnny said, sounding a bit offended, and Jimmy actually laughed at that.  
“Are you kidding? You’re a walking advertisement for the daddy issues magazine, I’d even go as far as to bet there’s some mommy issues in there too”  
He saw the look on Johnnys face and snorted. “Don’t get all sensitive about it, I’m just messing with you, although you know I’m right”  
“Yeah I- I guess”  
“You know I am”  
Jimmy patted Johnny lightly on the cheek and sat up.  
“Now come on, the saints presence has been requested at a party and he wants you there” 

Johnny stopped talking and looked at Mary  
“Stuff like that y’know”  
She sighed “yeah, yeah I know” Mary dragged a hand across her face “god I don’t want to ask, but I also feel like I need to know” she muttered and then said more clearly “Stop me if you’re not comfortable telling me this but, how did he die?”  
“And there it is” Johnny chuckled “I’ve been preparing all day for you to ask. But first” he sat up and met her eyes “how do you think he died”  
“Oh shit did he overdose?” An obvious answer but very plausible.  
“Nope.” Johnny said “good guess tho, probably would have been what got him otherwise. But no, he offed himself.”  
“What?”  
“Yeah” Johnny laughed unsteadily and Will was quickly behind him, a grounding support for his boyfriend “ate lead out by the docks.” He took an unsteady breath and leaned back on Will “I was the one who found him. 9th of October, worst Day of my life” Johnny said ”No, worst week of my life” 


	7. October 9th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for discussion of and reference to suicide. And slight gore warning I think.

It all started on tuesday 2nd of October (well technically it probably started in July, when she left), the day Johnny kicked Jimmy out. It probably wasn’t fair, considering that it was actually his place, but it wasn’t like Johnny had any other option and Jimmy couldn’t afford a new place for himself. That week was hell, withdrawal and money issues plagued him and Jimmy spent the following days after he was kicked out, standing under Johnnys window begging to be let in again.   
(“Let me in! Johnny you fucking bastard, let me in!”   
Jimmy pounded on the door  
“Please Johnny boy, I love you! You promised, you promised you’d never leave”  
“Fuck off Jimmy”  
“Let me in Johnny! Please let me in, you need me! You need me! Please I-”  
Jimmy violently kicked the door  
“LET ME IN”  
The pounding stopped after two hours.  
“Let me in Johnny”  
Johnny ignored him)  
Johnny had never felt so alone, and he was actually sad when Jimmy actually left on the 4th.   
One day later Jimmy went out to the docks and put a gun in his mouth, but it took Johnny five days to find out.   
It’s Tuesday 9th of October, 2018, and Johnny was sitting in the small kitchen reading old letters from Will, when someone knocked on the door. 

“Who the fuck” he muttered and wearily went over to the door, hoping it wouldn’t be Jimmy “Who’s there?” He asked.  
“Uh my name is Rachel, are you Jesus? Is the saint home?”  
Shit. One of Jimmy’s disciples, had he not been present at his usual parties and dark alleyways?   
“What do you want with the saint?”   
“Is he there? We haven’t seen him for an entire week”  
Johnny sighed and dragged a hand over his face, god damnit Jimmy.   
“Okay hold on I’ll open the door” Johnny carefully unlocked the door and was met by a teenage girl standing outside his door with what he assumed was two of her friends. “Uh come in I guess”

“You’re Jesus right? The saints right hand?” One of the girls said when they were all sat around Johnnys tiny kitchen table, tea and all, and Johnny felt bad for them. It wasn’t easy being addicted to someone like Jimmy  
“Not anymore kid, we broke up” it felt strange saying it like that, because Johnny wasn’t sure they’d ever been dating, but it was the easiest way to describe it “haven’t seen him since last Thursday”  
The girls looked down at their teacups and then turned to each other and had a short whispered discussion, and then the middle one turned to Johnny again.   
“You knew him best, could you please help us find him? I’m sorry you broke up but we need him” she looked down again “all of us”  
And how could he say no, they were just kids. Not much younger than he was mind you, but still kids. 

It took Johnny three hours to find the body, and he had to give Jimmy credit, the man had obviously not wanted to be found by anyone except for Johnny.   
But there he was, laying in a puddle of his own blood, face blown off, in a shipping container.  
Johnny threw up, the smell and sight of Jimmy’s corpse was too much, and god he wanted to go home. He’d found the body, now what? He wasn’t going pick Jimmy up and carry him to the cemetery, so what was he supposed to do?  
“I know you loved me.” Johnny said, speaking to thin air or Jimmy’s ghost or god or whatever   
“And I think, deep down, I loved you too, but we couldn’t go on like that, it wasn’t good for any of us and wouldn’t have lasted anyways. I’m sorry, Jimmy, but you hurt me.”   
Johnny laughed   
“And I don’t regret it, kicking you out, is that bad? Should I regret it? Did I cause you to kill yourself? I don’t know. But, and for the record I hate that I feel like this, I’m glad you’re gone, because now you can’t hurt people anymore” Johnny dragged a hand through his hair “of course you just had to fuck with me one last time”   
Jimmy had spray painted his logo on the wall to one of the big containers by the docks, coincidentally the container that he used a hiding spot sometimes. A hiding spot that he’d only told Johnny about. That was where he’d chosen to die.   
“Jimmy you old bastard. Did you plan this? Did you plan this just so I would find you? Well congratulations, I’m here. Now what? What am I supposed to do?” He looked over at the corpse again, and could feel tears beginning to form “what am I supposed to do with you” 

In the end he did only what was expected of him, called the cops, identified the corpse, and made sure Jimmy had a small funeral. A funeral that Johnny paid for with the saints own money, it seemed fitting.   
He decided that same dat that there was nothing in the city worth staying for, he was going home.


	9. Not real?

Mary left around seven pm, after about four hours of going through photo album after photo album. She completely refused to look at the ones from Jimmy’s time as the saint.   
Johnny couldn’t sleep, he was remembering. Or trying to, at least.   
“Go to sleep Johnny”   
Will mumbled, his face buried in Johnnys hair.  
“I thought you were asleep” Johnny said and shifted a little in Wills arms.   
“Mm ‘was, but you’re thinkin’ too loudly”  
“Sorry”  
“S’fine” Will shifted a little, more awake now “what’s up?”  
“Trying to remember”  
“Remember what?”   
Johnny turned around in Wills arms, burying his face in his boyfriends chest.  
“What was real and what wasn’t”  
Will tensed, and Johnny immediately backtracked.  
“I don’t mean like that, it’s just” he sighed “it’s hard to describe what it’s like to someone who’s never done hard drugs but-“  
Will let him take his time, he wasn’t going anywhere.  
“For a while after Jimmy had, y’know, I wasn’t sure if he was real or not. It was plausible because I think I was sober a maximum of like, three hours around him. And like I know he’s real now, but I’m not sure which things I remember about him were real and which things were the drugs”  
He shuddered and Will held him tighter, it was his way of being there for his boyfriend, without having to give his own thoughts on emotions and such. That was something he knew he sucked at.   
“Will I- I can’t remember her name.” Johnny choked “I was so sure she was the love of my life and now” he laughed wetly “I don’t remember her name. Was she even real? I don’t know. How the fuck would I know?”  
“Johnny she was real, you sent me pictures of her, remember? And Tunny remembers her” he ran a hand down Johnnys back “we could call her tomorrow if you want, and ask her if she remembers”  
“I’d like that”   
“Then we’ll do that, tomorrow” Will yawned “try to sleep Johnny”  
”Okay”   
And after an hour, he finally did. 

”Jesus. Jesus. Johnnnyyyyy. Johnny! Johnny boy!” Someone was talking directly in his ear, and quite loudly “wake up Johnny boy!” Jimmy.   
“Whaddya want”   
Go to sleep Jimmy, please please go to sleep.   
“Wake up! We’re going out”  
Johnny groaned  
“Fuck again? We went out yesterday”  
“Yesterday isn’t today”  
“Jimmy you know what I mean”  
Johnnys eyes flew open when the blankets were suddenly pulled from his body, and saw Jimmy. He was standing over Johnny, fully decked out with a spiked leather jacket, platform boots, dark makeup and glitter, and his bright red hair was gelled up in spikes.   
“I’m supposed to be giving out my ‘services’ at a party tonight, I want you there with me”  
Johnny blinked, the saint had never brought Johnny along to one of the exclusive parties he got invited to before.  
“Are you sure?”  
Jimmy smiled at him, and the gold tooth he had glimmered in the light from the shitty lamp.   
“Positive. Now get up, you can’t go like that.”  
He gestured to what Johnny was wearing and Johnny looked down. Yeah maybe sweatpants and a shirt he’d worn for three days straight wasn’t appropriate party wear, but   
“I don’t have anything clean tho”  
Johnny looked up again, and Jimmy winked at him.  
“We’re about the same size, you can borrow my clothes”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, now come on. Get up” Jimmy reached down, took Johnnys hand and pulled him up in one fluid motion. He might not look it, but the saint was pretty strong. He looked Johnny up and down and then smiled again, and honestly, where did he get that gold tooth?   
“I know exactly what you should wear”


End file.
